Small note:  The last panel for Tuesday’s comic was “I love you, Nomi” in Japanese roomanji.


Not that I expected anyone of you guys not to get that.  Nope.  (*read:  forgot to provide translation)


Moving on…

End of chapter!  And, at this point, I am not sure if we’re getting the new one starting next week, or if I’ll be taking a week off to look at the script and fix it until it resembles less a pile of primordial gibberish and more a cohesive story.

Hahaha….oooooooh….  ^^;;


On the bright side, I feel I am getting better at this.  The story is still kind of ‘meh’.  I see that.  But it is getting better, little by little.  Maybe?


I also feel the artwork is improving, although I have seen a lot of variation in it.  I know that has a lot to do with how much time I spend on each comic – you can see (*read: I can see, and I hope you can’t as well as I can) each page that was created in a frenzied panic while I tried to make my deadlines.  The ones where I had a little more time to look at the page and figure out what I wanted to do in them are much more interesting, so it behooves me to figure out how to make that happen more often.


You also might have noticed the use of perspective?  One point wasn’t enough with those few pages in the middle of this chapter – two point was much more appropriate to use, and I used it, I think, quite well for never having used it before.


[Random Rant]

All in all, I find myself at one of those mystical points in time that mean nothing to everyone who isn’t me.  I am feeling somewhat ambivalent about this comic at the moment.  Does it stay?  Does it go?  Do I even care?
At the same time, I find myself coming back to it.  Time and time again.  The audience isn’t an excuse for that.  You are the suppliers of my reasons for being on time and responsible for this endeavour.  Not for my impetus to comic in the first place.


I asked one of my co-workers the other day, “How do you know if something you’re doing is something you really want to do?”  Her response to me was, “You just keep thinking about it.  Over and over again.  If you can’t get it out of your mind, it’s probably what you want to do.  And you’re young.  If you want to do something, you ought to do it.”


(Hah!  Little does she know that I’m nearly 30!)


But, here’s the thing.  That co-worker I mentioned?  She is older than me.  And, bless her heart, she’s dying of a rare cancer.  And saying any more about it isn’t any of my business to share on the internet, but…. it really stops to make me think.

How much time do we have?  Really?

If I think about doing something all the time, doesn’t that make it worth doing?


So why…WHY…do I find it so hard sometimes to lift my pencil and keep working?


At this point in time, I am more free, creatively, than I have ever been in my entire life.  And, at the same time, more restricted.

I can see the box.  I can see the lines of the wall and trace it to the floor – get on my tiptoes and brush along the edges as it follows the ceiling.

But I cannot figure out why it is there.

And I cannot move it more than an inch at a time.


And I know…I know… if I can make the box go away, I will be able to wish all these random whimsical notions of mine into life.


God-damnit, it’s frustrating.

© 2011, Kira. All rights reserved.