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Author Topic: Too Many Heroes  (Read 1216 times)

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Offline Shae Dravenmore

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Too Many Heroes
« on: June 15, 2009, 05:18:52 PM »
((Not sure if this will actually amount to much of anything, but the idea popped into my head.  We'll see how it goes...  For now it might just be notes and computerized chicken scratch.))

Too many heroes, not enough damsels.  Influx of Princes Charming and Knights in shining armor, but no maidens kidnapped by dragons or locked in towers.  With no real work to be done, they begin spilling over into the lives of commoners, rescuing kittens from trees, picking up the shopping, etc.  Start making a general nuisance of themselves as they battle for 'work'.

Hero unemployment lines?

Offline Shae Dravenmore

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Re: Too Many Heroes
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2009, 01:52:06 PM »
They were everywhere...  Like a plague of locusts, they descended upon the hapless farming towns and modest villages.  Seeking their fame and fortune, striving to make a name for themselves, and all at the cost of the mundane lives of the locals.  They were a novelty at first; even helpful.  But now, they were regarded with as much disdain as the pests they were compared to.

Heros.

There were too many heros!  Whoever had said that for every hero there was a quest hadn't taken into account every Sir Tom, Dick and Harry charging forth into the world to right wrongs and slay evil-doers.  Life was grand.  Marauders on the highways were driven off, dragons were slain, princesses and ladies fair rescued, and happy endings all around.  But if there was a hero academy somewhere, they'd missed the memo that the day had already been saved.  Because now, they were everywhere, and had nothing to do.  And what else is there to do for a chivalrous, dashing, sword-wielding, steed-riding hero to do, but go forth and search for trouble?

Take for instance the sleepy town of Potston.  Mud and thatch buildings that had evolved into something respectable over many generations of hard, honest work of making pots.  Almost the entire town was somehow involved in the metal working trade.  Of course, there were smithies for other items, but after generations of being called Potston, the name wasn't easily changed.  Even this place was not immune from the ravages of wayward heros.  Duels erupted in the streets as grown men in armor battled for the honor of saving some poor kitten from a tree, while residents looked on in horror, and the cat eventually got down on its own.

Or the subject of current pursuit of a rather tenacious knight.  A young woman named Terra.  Every day, as is part of her routine, she walks the street from her home to the shops, and back again once more.  And day by day, she is watched.  Before, it had only been from afar, and Terra was quite happy to ignore the wayward hero.  But lately he has taken to following her, and though she knows he means well...it's become rather annoying.  So today, as she walks the lane and he follows on his steed mere feet behind her, she has reached the point of no longer suffering his stalking.

Terra stopped short and turned to face her one-man fan club, eyes narrowed and hands on her hips.  "You're following me."
"Nay, dear lady, I am escorting you!"
"You're stalking me.  Stop it!"
"I cannot!  For as long as you are on your quest, it is my sworn duty to protect you!"
"Protect me from what?!  The ravages of children playing in the street, or a cat that may cross my path?"
"And whatever dangers may lurk untold 'round yonder corner," he gestured grandly with his hand, leading her gaze to the bakery.
"You're kidding."  Complete deadpan.  "Look, while I appreciate your attempts, it is neither requested nor required."
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," he smiled his charming best down at her.
Terra made a disgusted sound and rolled her eyes, and turned to leave him. But, as always, he continued to follow her.  Again she turned on him, eyes blazing and jaw tight.  "What!"
"I sense that my lady may be in trouble."  Her left eye twitched at his complete casual tone and manner.  "Does something vex thee?"
"Yes," she growled out through clenched teeth.  "Something vexes me."
"A-ha!  Then I am just in time!  For you are a damsel in distress, and I shall rescue you!"  He stuck a pose, chin high, finger in the air.  Terra swore she even heard fanfare.
"The gods smite your rotten carcass!  You're what's distressing me!!"
"Then the fiend has been discovered!  I shall vanquish this foe to goodness!"
"You've got to be kidding me..."
"Fear not, my lady!  I shall return victorious, and present you with proof of your tormentor's demise!  Until that day, think well of me!  Onward, Charger!  To battle!"  He spurred his horse, and with a rearing whinny, they were off, racing down the street out of town, and leaving Terra in a cloud of dust.
She blinked.  Not only was this bozo completely desperate, but he was completely insane as well.  "Oh well.  Good riddance."  If he lost, he wouldn't return, and if he won, he wouldn't return.  It was a win-win!  The day was looking up!

 

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