Author Topic: From the Firefly 'Verse: A Quirk of Fate  (Read 1393 times)


0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Lord Palatine

  • Ye Olde Man
  • Guildmaster/Mistress
  • Grand Duke/Grand Duchess
  • *
  • Posts: 14671
  • Karma: 127
  • Gender: Male
  • Face for radio, voice for print!
  • Awards Has made 9,000+ posts Has made 8,000+ posts Has made 7,000+ posts Has made 6,000+ posts Has made 5,000+ posts Has made 4,000+ posts Has made 3,000+ posts Has made 2,000+ posts A Founding Member of the Guild A Board Game Master
    • Scribe of the Realm
    • Awards
From the Firefly 'Verse: A Quirk of Fate
« on: March 08, 2009, 07:36:58 AM »
“Status Sergeant Kirk?”

Quirks didn’t spare the time for a dirty look at the call box.  “Skinnin’ up!” he shouted as he slip-locked the vac seals on his boots and rose, visually checking his glove seals.

“Shake it out man!  We’re looking at a gorram f’n zset storm here!  Two-six just got dusted!”

Quirks vented an elaborate stream of profanity and glanced at the monitor as he locked on his helmet.  It was a furball, a dozen boats maneuvering insanely around the supply ship that was coupled to an asteroid converted to an Alliance repair station.  He turned and hustled toward his station, a large bore gun with four smaller gatling guns around it.

“Sergeant, move your ass, you’re the last gorram gunner on station, I expect better!”

“Shut it lieutenant,” Quirks snapped back at the co-pilot.  “It was put on my party duds or fix the O2 center, those of us with real human brains want oxygen to feed to it.”

“Don’t piss him off,” Captain Carter warned him.

“I’m the fraggin’ officer,” Lt Weeks grumbled.  “Why do I have to kiss his ass?”

“Because he’s the one with the…” Carter horsed the controls.  “Evasive!” He shouted and barely avoided a piece of junk transport, it was streaked with red and looked like it was parked in an asteroid storm.  As he cranked hard on the controls to get behind it.  Alarms screamed at them.

“Radiation!” Weeks reported.  “Bastard’s reactor shielding must have scragged.”

“Damn!” Carter reversed his controls and threw the boat into a hard turn, bringing the main battery to bear.  “Lock him up, missiles, we don’t want to get too close!”

“No lock!” Weeks shook his head in the armored vac suit.  “I almost flashburned the targeting sensors trying.”

“Quirks!” Carter called back.  “I’m going to line it up for you.”

“Copy,” Kirk replied, unlocking his safeties, his sight glowed orange, darkening to red before he flicked it off.  “Sighting manually.”  He swung his barrels and started walking shells from ass to nose, 80mm armor piercing from his main gun, the same ammo in 20mm from the 8-barreled Gatling guns.  He saw flares from the engine followed by explosive decompression of the engineering space before it was out of range.

“Got a piece, Cap,” Quirks reported.  “What the hell is that thing, its pure f’n zse!”

“How did you miss it?” Weeks shouted, looking around wildly as Carter threaded them through the weird menagerie of space junk aimed right at them.

“I didn’t, kiss my pi gu monkeyboy,” Quirks replied evenly as he opened up on another that was coming right in at him.  Quirks laid down a barrage, two shells a second from the main gun and 80 more per second from the smaller guns.  He watched the plating at the nose strip away, the pilot’s view ports vanished in splinters and a body was sucked out in pieces.  “Roll out!”

“Got it,” Carter acknowledged as he threw the boat into a corkscrew turn.  He glanced at his vewscreen to see another of the boats of the relief force snared by what looked like a harpoon.  “Snapshot,” he ordered weeks, home on rad and launch!”

Weeks set it up as quickly as he could.  “Hold fire,” Carter ordered a few seconds later, “too late.  Set up the shot and wait for my order.”

Weeks clenched his teeth and blushed furiously under his helmet, knowing that bastard in the back was laughing at him.  Quirks was too busy to laugh, Barton, his gunner was locking in a long stream of ammo hoppers for his guns as he flicked emergency cooling for his guns to prevent slagging the barrels.  Only his straps kept him from being thrown into the bulkhead behind him.  He could feel the atmosphere vent and was thankful that his suit was fully charged, but the boat was still moving sideways.

“Bastard rammed us,” Carter called back.  “Report!”

“Kirk and Barton ok,” Quirks called in as he loosed another burst at a boat that flashed by.

“Boggs ok, Cheebo is down hard.”

“Rusharan, on the way to Cheebo.” The medic reported.

“Farris, Che, report!”


“I’m on it, Cap, keep it to the firewall!”  Quirks pulled Barton over.  “Short bursts and don’t hit anybody friendly!”  He lurched across the heaving deck.  Grav was failing.  Fragging wonderful.  He reached the hatch for the airlock that connected troop bay two to his station at number one.  The door was sprung hard and the port was frosted over.  He scraped at the polycarbonate and was rewarded with jagged metal and black space.

“Cap, pod two is humped, Farris and Che missing, same for twenty grunts, looks like we’ve been rammed.”

“Copy,” Carter called back.  “How many grunts are left?”

Quirks looked back at the soldiers strapped into inertial seats and tossed a thumbs up, they all answered the same way.  “Twenty, Cap.”

“Copy, we’ve got fired in the engine spaces, I’ve vented but the O2 plant is feeding it.  We’re pissing fuel and main batteries are failing.  We’re going to land this pig on the rock and clear the tangos out of the freighter.”

“Roger that, I like my landings hur bao duhn (sunny side up) if you don’t mind.” Quirks agreed and opened his personal weapons locker, strapping on his combat harness and checking with his hands to insure pistols, grenades, knives and mags were all in place then took out his main dance partner, Wanda, the Bitch Goddess of War.  A 12.5mm squad assault weapon with a 25mm grenade launcher slung under for insurance.  She was named after a psycho he’d met out on the rim that branded her initials on his ass when he was trying to sleep.  She could throw a mean punch and suck start a troop transport.  Whatta gal!

“Brace for landing!” He called over the grunts’ freq and took a good hold on the ‘Oh Shit’ rail.  Seconds later the pod was torn loose as the boat hard-landed and skid over the irregular surface.  He swore as he bounced off of the bulkhead and scrambled back to his feet and staggered aft, rousting Barton and then the soldiers.

“Go do that ground-pounder thing,” he told the special forces sergeant.  “They’ve broke into the freighter.”  He glanced to the gunners port.  “I’ll arrange some cover fire and be right with you.”

He saw the doubt in the sergeant’s eyes and grinned.  “Move your butt!”  He turned to Barton and together they slaved over emergency power from the useless life support unit to the guns.  “Over our heads!” He cautioned the young private, “you shoot me and I’ll scrag your next fitrep and then shoot you in the goolies.”

Barton grinned and swung the guns over.  “Power cells won’t last long.”

“When they go dry shag it to the rest of the boat and see who’s alive.  Don’t be stupid, you’ve landed in a killzone.”  He waited for Barton to nod and shouldered an oversized ammo pack and, connecting the ammo feed and air line to Wanda and followed the troopers.  He glanced up to see several burning spots in the sky above and hurried on to join the grunts.  Why should they have all the fun?

He paused to look at a body, kneeing to study what his eyes couldn’t believe.  A disfigured and deformed face, scarred and twisted.  What the hell was this?  He pointed the big bore down and clicked the barrel cam before touching off one round that exploded the gruesome head, helmet and all.  Sloppy of the grunts not to clean up.  He hurried on and joined a team at a maintenance airlock.  He pushed aside the man trying to bypass the lock and applied power to the lock servos, burning them out as he forced the door motors into overload, they ripped open and vented trace gasses.

He let them go first, he had the scars to prove he had done all of this before and followed when they blew the inner door.  Bodies in the corridor, they were ripped apart, his hand involuntarily reached for the medpack before he checked himself and knelt to look one of the dead over.  The Alliance uniform was drenched in blood, the eyes bugged out and the torso tore wide open.

“Bare hands,” Quirks said over comm.  “It’s a freakshow.”

Hands tightened on their weapons and they spread out in the corridor.  There was a flicker of light and Quirks tilted his barrel up and loosed a pair of three round bursts that sprayed a figure in a raggedy-assed suit across the overhead.

“What the hell are you carrying?” the SF sergeant wondered.


“She’s a real bitch!”

“You have no idea,” Quirks replied before acknowledging the flashing light for the emergency frequency.  “Kirk.”

“Quirks, Carter,” his pilot said tersely.  “Withdraw immediately, blow the docking clamps on that tub and fall back to this location.  Orders from Fleet.”

He slaved the guard freq over to the grunts’ net.  “Acknowledging Fleet order, pull out and cut it loose.”

The SF sergeant nodded and signaled them out.  “Somebody humped the bunk,” he said to Quirks as they set cutting charges, the team surrounding them, guns in a circle pointing outward.

“More than a bunk,” Quirks set the timer and started toward the busted boat at a good clip.  “We won’t see the inner rim for years.”

“Bie Woo Lohng?” (a blunder of great magnitude)

Quirks looked at him and nodded.  “Some lio coh jwei ji neong hur ho deh yung duh buhn jah j’wohn (stupid son of a drooling whore and monkey) screwed the pooch and we’ll be in the black so long that we’ll start to look good to each other.”

“No offense, but if I get hard up enough for a kai tze, I can do better than you.”

“Aww,” Quirks sighed.  “I’m crushed.”

“Cap, something bad happened here,” Quirks said as he secured the last of his gear for transport.

“Nothing happened here,” Carter said quietly.  “We took a meteor hit to the cockpit that killed Lieutenant Weeks while you and I were fixing the O2 plant, we took a lot of damage and were rescued by fleet.  You got a chip in your cannon?”

Quirks stared coldly at the captain for a moment and reached behind him and slipped out the gun cam chip and passed it to his pilot.  “I’m going back to the Core, Sarge.” Carter said quietly.

“Me and Barton?”

“Barton is going to the Imperator, you’re going back to Fleet Rescue.”

“Rim duty for me, Bart gets the black.”

“We all have our duty,” Carter said as he turned and left.

“You got that right,” Quirks grumbled as he reached back past the pistol at his hip and slipped the vid chip from his pistol and rolled it between his gloved fingers.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2014, 01:36:58 AM by Lord Palatine »


Untitled Document

The Fantasy Artists, RolePlayers & Writers Guild, aka FARPWG the Guild is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC. FARPWG - The Guild may use the trademarks and other intellectual property of Wizards of the Coast LLC, which is permitted under Wizards' Fan Site Policy (Magic site) (D&D site). For example, MAGIC: THE GATHERING®, DUNGEONS & DRAGONS®, D&D®, PLAYER'S HANDBOOK 2®, and DUNGEON MASTER'S GUIDE® are trademark[s] of Wizards of the Coast and D&D® core rules, game mechanics, characters and their distinctive likenesses are the property of the Wizards of the Coast. For more information about Wizards of the Coast or any of Wizards' trademarks or other intellectual property, please visit their website at (

The Fantasy Artists, RolePlayers & Writers Guild, aka FARPWG the Guild is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by any company unless specified. In order to review products Guild Members may reference trademarks and other intellectual property of these companies without intent to violate trademarks or copyrights.

The Fantasy Artists, RolePlayers & Writers Guild, aka FARPWG the Guild provides forum boards, server space and bandwidth, without compensation, to support Idaho gaming and fandom.

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply. This supersedes all previous notices.

Opinions in articles, posts and podcasts do not necessarily represent the views of The Fantasy Artists, RolePlayers & Writers Guild, aka FARPWG the Guild.

FARPWG The Guild © 2004-2017 Tim Boothby - All Rights are retained by those posting art, lyrics, messages and articles.

* About Me!

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

* Who's Here?

  • Dot Guests: 13
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 0

There aren't any users online.

* Most Recent

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 20, 2018, 07:16:39 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 19, 2018, 09:03:11 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 19, 2018, 08:16:30 AM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 19, 2018, 12:47:30 AM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 19, 2018, 12:32:27 AM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 19, 2018, 12:21:34 AM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 18, 2018, 11:44:55 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 18, 2018, 11:08:14 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 18, 2018, 09:07:24 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 17, 2018, 11:48:39 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 17, 2018, 11:38:05 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 17, 2018, 11:10:44 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 17, 2018, 11:06:29 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Lord Palatine
[May 17, 2018, 10:33:01 PM]

Re: The Tamber Saga by Milady Kim
[May 11, 2018, 09:32:31 PM]

Affiliated Sites

Red Zone Fandom Red Zone Fan Photography Scribe of the Realm Science Fox Serious Lesbian

Red Zone Galleries

Boise Area Conventions

Us Being Social

Guild on Facebook Red Zone Facebook Red Zone Twitter Red Zone Youtube