Author Topic: Starholme  (Read 381 times)

Description: Best Derivative Work - Most Creative Use of Cthulhu

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Offline Lord Palatine

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« on: April 21, 2017, 10:26:30 PM »
(Theme Work, Derivative Work, Cross Genre, Cthulhu)
The thing lurched forward tentacled face reaching ever forward grasping for the creature foolish enough to call it forth from the void.  Another pathetic creature ignorant or stupid enough to summon it.  Only to pause mere inches away from the creatures smug face.  It had grown accustomed to expressions of pain and terror weak minds shattered by its presence cowering before something they had no understanding of.  A thousand races with a thousand variants on a scream.  It was not at all accustomed to a self-satisfied grin. 
                “You know what” commented the summoner.  “They actually said I was mad” 
                                                              *                      *                      *       
Two days earlier
                “You know what would be nice?”  Asked the summoner glancing up at traveling companion. 
                “No” he said.  Of the pair out for a nice morning walk through an apparent post-apocalyptic wasteland he certainly looked the more prepared for it being by far the larger and more muscular of the pair. 
                “Cellular regeneration” stated the summoner.  “I mean seriously I’ve been a ghoul 152 years now and I’ve got more felt and hide sewn onto me than I’ve got actual skin, and don’t even get me started on feathers, do you have any idea how hard it is to get feathers that aren’t actually yours to stay on right.” 
                “Uh huh” muttered her traveling companion blank almost dead looking eyes staring straight forward unblinkingly. 
“Okay new question how come I do so much more thinking than you?”  Asked the summoner her tone now a tad sarcastic. “I mean I’m the unnaturally animated corpse wandering around and you're the actually alive one around here. So how come I seem to have a fully functioning brain and you act like a hollowed out shell?”
“No idea boss.”  Stated her companion flatly his blank eyes still registering no expression.   
“Probably a good thing.”  Said the summoner “Can’t have you coming up with too many Ideas on your own now can we.  Anyway you fed the palace today?” 
“Yes boss” said the man his voice registering no emotion.  “We sacrificed another raider just as you instructed.” 
“Good good,” muttered the summoner almost more to herself.  “By the way you can quit being so melodramatic.  Raiders are hardly worth calling sacrifices heck they're always figuring out new ways to kill themselves even if we don’t catch em.” 
“Yes boss.”  Said her companion still staring forward blankly his expression unchanged.
                                                             *                               *                             *
152 years earlier
“So?” asked the summoner, looking considerably more alive or at least natural than last time as she strode purposefully down a busy street bustling with carts of all sizes.  “You in or not?” 
“I don’t know.”  Her companion this time was a much smaller nervous looking woman whose large eyes constantly glancing around them as if searching for some unknown danger.  “I mean it sounds cool and all but what if we don’t live that long.  I mean you really gotta prioritize your time these days.” 
“Oh don’t get me started on that whole balefire war thing.”  Said the summoner rolling her eyes sarcastically. “The moment either side uses those things both kingdoms are dead.  The Czar’s not suicidal and neither is Luna.  Anyway I’m offering you a unique research opportunity.  No matter how short your life is you’re not getting another offer like this.” 
“Okay, but I’m still a little unsure on the details.”  Said her companion her overall demeanor having shown no sign of calming. “Like if you’ve got your hotel infused with an animus to bring it to life how do you sustain it?” 
“How do I what?”  Asked the summoner barely concealing a sly smile. 
“How do you feed it?” 
“Oh well that's a little technical.”  said the summoner.  “I’m sure a demonstration can be arranged for as soon as you get their assuming.   .   .”  The summoner paused as something in the distance caught her eye.  A small bright object with a trial of smoke clearly a missile plummeting towards the ground in the distance.  “You’ve got to be bucking kidding me.” 
And with that the world went white, then rainbow colored, then octarin, and finally a sickly oily green wave of fire washed over the world. 
                                                       *                                       *                                          *
8 years previously
                The summoner paused for a moment staring up at the lecturer at the podium.  The lecturer smiled pleasantly down at her and nodded a purple sheath of telekinesis enveloping the papers she was removing from the podium and slipping them into her saddlebags.  The summoner and the lecturer were the only ones in the university hall, if a lecture had been given it was apparently over. 
                “Can I help you?” asked the lecturer her pleasant cheerful voice seemingly inspiring some confidence in the unusually mute summoner. 
                “Yes I have some questions about the things you discussed in your segment on strange foreign magics.”  Said the summoner her voice nervous.  “Specifically necromancy” 
                “Oh that’s hardly worth your time.”  Said the lecturer.  “It's just a rumor, a myth, the very idea that you could call on the aid of beings from the stars to raise the dead and control the living is scientifically preposterous.” 
“But what if the stars contain strange magical beings just like our world does isn’t it logical that there would be some way to harness that power through spells or rituals maybe?” asked the summoner. “And if such things are possible isn’t it only logical that somewhere some mages would have figured out a way to do it?” 
“Your whole idea is predicated on a lot of assumptions.”  Said the lecturer now eyeing the summoner a bit oddly.  “For one thing we don’t even know if there's life on any world other than our own.” 
“Oh I can be pretty sure of that” said the summoner, much to the lecturer’s apparent confusion.
                                                     *                                *                                        *
10 years earlier
“And then I just ran and ran until my legs wouldn’t carry me and my wings gave out” muttered the summoner now clearly a child laying back on a psychiatrist's couch. 
“Because the sky monsters were chasing you?”  Asked the psychiatrist jotting down another note in a rather thick notebook. 
“No I think the starman killed them.”  Said the child summoner.  “But he was worse, he had a face” 
“Ah yes and the monsters didn’t have faces.”  Said the physiatrist jotting down another note.  “Because they were big bronze salt and pepper shakers with flashing lights.” 
“And plungers and whisks and round things.”  Finished the summoner.  “And they sounded metal like an electric alarm but talking.”
“They sound very scary.” said the psychiatrist.  “And you say they were turning people into pigs?”   
                “Yep.”  Said the summoner. “That's what I would be now if the Starman didn’t come.” 
“So the Starman saved you?” asked the psychiatrist jotting down another note.
“No he killed them” answered the summoner.  “I don’t think he cared about me, but he hated them, I just grabbed my chance to run away while he killed them.” 
“And how do you know he wasn’t just a normal stallion rather than a starman?”  Asked the psychiatrist jotting down some final notes.   
“He just was.”  Said the summoner.  “He said so.” 
“I think I have everything I need here.”  Said the psychiatrist closing his notebook and clambering slightly awkwardly out of his chair.
“I’m not lying?”  Said the summoner watching him as he started towards the door. 
“Well this is a pretty extraordinary story.”  Said the psychiatrist turning back towards the summoner.  “I’m afraid you really can’t expect ponies to believe something like this without proof.”   
“Fine” said the summoner rolling over on the couch and curling into a belligerent little ball. “I’ll prove it then,  whatever it takes.” 
                                        *                                           *                                            *
                Confused though it was the thing paused only for a second grasping tentacles extending and grasping at the smug woman’s face only to recoil in surprise when the tentacles passed through the face with no resistance.
“Oh come on,” laughed the summoner taking a step back out of the maw of the confused abomination.  “You didn’t really think I would be stupid enough to fully corporealize you. You’d destroy my mind if I did that.  Anyway the sacrifice would be a bit more expensive than just a few dozen Pyresprites.” she gestured towards an altar in the corner covered in the squashed remains of a considerable number of small furry creatures with delicate lacy wings.  “Anyway I think your time on this plane is about up now at least if I got my math right.” 
“Scllluuuuuurrrrrgggh” squelched the creature in protest but the summoners math was probably correct as it rapidly faded from existence leaving only a strong odor of rancid calamari in its wake.
                                                   *                                               *                                          *
                “Well anyone who says pegasi can’t do magic can suck a feather” said Starholme smiling to herself as she turned away from the summoning circle and turning to an ancient rotting desk leaning precariously against the far wall. On the desk and unrolled out across much of the floor lay an incredibly long and aged scroll on which was scrawled what appeared to be the mother of all checklists.  With a self-satisfied whistle she located the little box next to the words “Summon Cthulhu” and filled it with a single checkmark.  From there she proceeded to roll up the scroll pausing a moment to smile at the bottom of the checklist.  Once long ago the words “PROVE IT” had been sloppily written in the scrawl of a child.  Now they were crossed off and in much neater font the words “Rule World” had been written under them.  Grinning she reflected on how one's goals changed when one ages and began to realize one's true abilities and get a better grasp on one's goals.  Sure most would call her insane but most would also call the thing that had just faded out of existence impossible.  Funny she thought, how something generally thought of as as concrete in definition as sanity becomes so perspective fixed when one thinks about it.  Perhaps she mused, the real trouble is telling the difference between the insane and the singularly terribly sane.   
« Last Edit: April 21, 2017, 11:12:02 PM by Lord Palatine »


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